On Being a Tourist

There are some things I have learned about being a tourist after visiting 26 countries.

1. The tour books are always well-meaning, expensive and out of date. I always purchase a tour book when I plan to visit a new country. There are rules for tipping and bargaining that have been in place for hundreds of years. These rules should be obeyed. You don't want to unset an economy by tipping too much or not enough. Ancient history is also usually a safe read. We always stay in name-brand hotels and often, our hotel isn't mentioned. The restaurants mentioned are either out of business or have moved locations.

2. Never joke with the customs control person. Even when you look like a grandma to yourself, you look like a terrorist to the passport control person. Be polite, respectful and terse when you are in passport control.

3. Underwire bras are ALWAYS a bad idea. I think that some deranged man, somewhere, probably in Homeland Security decided that he didn't like his wife/girlfriend's underwire bra because it is always good for getting frisked by a stranger in a public place. I know that some women like the experience but I can live without it. Men, if you wear an underwire bra, well, that is just too much information.

4. We learned in Korea that a good tour guide (the real-person) is 100 times better than the best tour book. I booked a whole series of tours, including a dinner and two shows. It was well worth the extra $30.00 US we spent for the help. Both shows were excellent and out-of-the-way. The guide showed us things along the way that we wouldn't have noticed without their expertise. Plus, when it looked like the cab was taking us for a foreigner's special ride, it was nice to have a local reassuring us that it was indeed the correct way. (We didn't pay any cab fares.) Next time, we can do it ourselves. We have a list.

5. This is the most important. Always visit any country like it is the only time you will ever have the chance to visit. Why? Because it is probably the only chance. Plus you need to prioritize your experience. So do all the things that are important to you first. Then if you never return, it will be without regrets.

6. No regrets. Do what you want to do. Buy what you want, within your budget. Eat what you want to try. Love the people you are with. Otherwise, life isn't really worth the effort.