Menopause - yes men you can stay tuned. This isn't really about menopause...

Because I have been 50 years old for a number of months now, I figure that I am entitled to wear purple or red or whatever old ladies are suppose to wear and talk inappropriately loud. Well as it happens, purple isn't my color but red is a favorite and when I am enthused, I always talk too loud so basically nothing has changed.

But this whole menopause thing has me confused. If I read the popular literature correctly, menopause is a disease that must be corrected by coloring my hair and talking medicines when I reach a certain age. Men however are exempt. I wish to be exempt also. My hair is unabashedly grey. It positively shines silver. I love it. I have never liked my hair better than I do now. As for medicine, I know what it means to have a life threatening illness. I don't have to take medicine for that and I don't want to take medicine for getting older. I look at everyday, every year as a bonus. When I was diagnosed with cancer and had my kidney removed, I was told that I would either live a normal life expectancy or die within two years. Well here I am four years later. So why deny my age or take a pill to make me "feel younger". Just being here is an undeniable gift.

I haven't had any hot flashes but I nod knowingly when younger women describe theirs to me. I simply don't know what to say. My mother and mother-in-law both had surgical induced menopause and years of hormone replacement therapy so cannot tell me what to expect. All the books on the subject sound terribly boring and probably are not one size fits all.

I decided to look at the whole thing as a chance to pause. I can pause and be thankful that I am alive. I am thankful that after 35 years of courtship (do I date myself?) and marriage, I still think my husband is the greatest guy on the face of the earth. I can be thankful that I have two amazing daughters who still will tolerate my idiosyncrasies. I can be thankful that my mother is still able to give me advice when I need it. I can be thankful that although my father and my son are dead, I can still enjoy their memories and love that I had them.

So maybe, perhaps, the pause part of menopause is really the part we need to focus on.